Friday, 27 February 2015

Life's Not A Dress Rehearsal

I've spent my entire life in education, why you might ask? The answer will always be the same, because I was pushed into it, because I was told that this was what I had to do to become successful, to get the job of my dreams. I've came to realise that this was the biggest mistake of my life. I enjoyed College and would quite happily say that it was the best time of my entire life, everything about it was perfect and at that moment in time, I had never felt the passion that I did then for Media...little did I know that was soon to take a horrifying turn. I began my degree in September of 2012, after the first few months I knew it wasn't for me and following my car accident and all of the terrible things that I encountered during these months of my life, I decided to drop out of uni and I had never felt happier, I was stress free. This was all until I decided to go back, due to the fact that I am not a quitter and that I didn't want to disappoint, I never want to disappoint. 

I'm now in my final year of University and most people would say that it would be the stupidest thing ever to give up now, but is that really so true? nothing has ever made me so stressed, this stress has caused me to get extremely behind on my work. My Final Year Project and Dissertation are due in around 2 weeks time….I've not even started it and I completely lack all motivation to do so. Naturally this is stressing me out but I am completely confused as to where I go from here, I just don't know what to do. 

I just want to skip forwards in time, I want to throw myself at the world and to start my life completely. I'm absolutely terrified of failing in life, it's my biggest fear and it's something that I need to overcome. I'm terrified of looking back in 10 years time and wondering where my life went wrong, wondering why I'm not where I want to be. I really hope that I am where I want to be. 

There's so much I want to do in life, no dream is too big for me to hope it comes true. In one of my earlier posts I created a bucket list, it was full of a wide variety of things if I do say so myself. Well in this post I'm going to give you a list of just 10 things, 10 major things that I want to achieve in my life, whether that's visiting a place or just doing something, I would also like to point out that these are in no particular order. 

1. Rome

For as long as I can remember I have always had a rather large fascination with Roman history and with this comes a great desire to explore the city. I've spent so many hours on the internet reading up and just looking up certain things about the city and I've came to realise that along with just how beautiful the city is, there's also some rather magnificent ancient Roman architecture that I would absolutely die to see. The Colosseum, like most people, is the first thing on my list, the pictures already show just how amazing this structure is, but to see it in person? Yes please! Another big thing on my list to see when visiting the city of Rome if The Pantheon, this structure was originally built during the reign of Augustus (27 BC - 14 AD) but was then rebuilt around 126AD, even after 2000 years the Pantheon's dome is still the worlds largest unreinforced concrete dome. There's so much to see in Rome, so much history to take in, I can't wait to visit this beautiful city, I can't wait to fall completely in love.

2. Paris in a weekend

Those who know me will know that I don't have a very big love for France, it's not one of my top places, I see Paris as being a little bit overrated, especially with places like Prague and Venice in the world, but there are some things in Paris that I absolutely have to see, I aim to take Paris by storm in just one short weekend. The number one thing that fascinates me when I think about Paris is The Louvre, although I'm not good at art myself, I love to see the work of others, I absolutely adore it. The Louvre is filled with many, many beautiful works of art, including the world famous Mona Lisa, I just know that I could spend hours here just standing in awe. Obviously if you go to Paris you have to see Eiffel Tower, although I don't have a huge fascination for this, I would still like to see it and get myself a few cheeky pictures. Paris is filled with beautiful monuments, that's the main reason I want to visit this city, I want to see Notre Dame Cathedral, which dates back to 1163 and The Roman catholic Basilica of Sacre Coeur. I want to visit the lock bridge, take in the culture, admire the art and take Paris by storm. 

3. Swim with Sharks

I love Sharks, I think they are one of the most wonderful, beautiful and misunderstood creatures alive today. There's not much to say about this, the title of this section pretty much speaks for itself. The only issue here is that I cannot swim and due to bad experiences with learning to swim when I was younger I have a little fear with learning to do so, but with this being such a big dream of mine, that's just something I have to overcome to that I can experience this. 

4. Have my own family

This is probably my biggest dream of all, if I can't do anything else in life but this, then I wouldn't actually care. For as long as I can remember I have always dreamed of having my own little family. When your time on this planet is up there isn't much you can leave behind that will actually matter, besides who you were and who you left behind. My family will become my legacy, when I'm gone from this world, I will live on through them. Having a family could be one of the most beautiful gifts in life, with this comes a life of adventure and a life of change. I can only imagine how wonderful this experience will be, I can't wait to make it my own experience.

5. Accept myself for who I am

Life is too short to spend another second at war with yourself, this is the motto I will continue to live by. It can often be hard to accept yourself for who you are, to understand that you are you and you are all you are ever going to be. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though! You get to decide who you are, you get to decide the kind of person you are going to be, the paths in life that you are going to take, you have the ability to change anything about your life should you wish to. I am me, I am the only me that is ever going to exist, I have countless number of freckles, heterochromia, the rosiest of rosy red cheeks ever possible, two feet, two arms, a head and a brain that makes me who I am, a brain that determines who I want to be and all that I can ever become. I've grown to accept this a little more over the past few years, I'm an awkward person, but that makes me who I am. I'm kind hearted and that's probably the most wonderful thing about me. It can take a life time to figure out who you really are and to completely accept it. That's what I hope to do, I hope to accept myself for who I truly am and to be thankful that I am me. 

6. New Zealand

New Zealand is arguably one of the most spectacular places that this world has to offer, just take a look at the breathtaking scenery if you don't believe me. Naturally, as The Lord of The Rings is one of my most favourite films, exploring the location of filming is an absolute must, especially hiking around Mordor! One of the main things I'd like to do in New Zealand is explore the the scenery because it's absolutely breathtaking in photographs, I can only imagine what it's going to be like standing right there in the middle of it. I want to visit the 'adventure capital of the world' that is Queenstown, the fun that could come from visiting this location is pretty much guaranteed, along with the views from scenery as well, what's not to like? I want to visit Milford Sound, which is often described as one of the natural wonders of the world. 

7. Japan

What can I say about Japan apart from the fact that I have had a fascination with this country for the longest time. One thing I aim to do before visiting Japan is to learn the language, or at least some of it. I want to see The Icicles of Misotsuchi which are the icicles that appear on the mountain located near the Awakawa River. Takeda Castle, although this was destroyed around 400 years ago, the stone wall still exists in it's original style. One of the main reasons I would absolutely love to visit Japan is to visit the historic landmarks, such as Shuri Catle Park, which harbours ruins from the Ryukyuan culture, Hiroshima Peace Memorial, which is the only building remained standing after the atomic bomb explosion during August 1945. I want to take in as much of the Japanese culture as humanly possible. 

8. See Taylor Swift live in concert

It's not a big surprise to anyone who knows me that this is one of my dreams. Taylor Swift has been my idol for such a long time and I fully believe she always will be. I just adore everything about her, she's just a wonderful human being. It's horrible knowing that I have still not seen her in concert, I just haven't been able to afford to when she's released tickets. I will see her, it doesn't matter which era this is in, but it will be a thing, it will happen. 

9. Prague 

The diversity of the city's architecture means there is something for everyone to enjoy. This city has so much architecture to offer, from Romanesque chapels and cellars to Cathedrals and palaces and gardens. There's so much I want to see in Prague, possibly too much to list, so I'll just talk about a few of them. Prague Castle looks absolutely breathtaking and is the largest ancient castle in the world. There's so much to see at Prague Castle that it could take days to full appreciate everything that it has to offer, from churches and gardens to Royal residences. Tyn Church is a gothic looking Church that can be viewed from all over Prague. The Church has two towers which can be admired due to their pure beauty, I've read up a lot about this church and have found that although this Church is wonderful to see during the day time, it's absolutely gobsmacking to see at night, so when I eventually get the chance to visit Prague, I aim to view it during opposing times, day and night. 

10. Berlin

One of the most important things I want to do when I visit Berlin is to explore the Jewish History, so I will visit The Judisches Museum. I want to visit the Berlin Wall and immerse myself in Berlins art scene. There's so much to take in, so much to experience. I love museums and there are so many to visit in Berlin, including the world famous 'Island of Museums' I want to visit The Brandenburg Gate, which is one of the best known landmarks that Germany has to offer. I want to visit The Holocaust Memorial, which is a memorial in Berlin that's dedicated to the Jewish victims of the holocaust. 

I could have talked about my most important and biggest dreams for hours and hours, but I had to stop myself, I haven't quite told you everything I want to see in these countries/cities, I haven't completely explained everything I  hope to achieve with my dreams because it would take far too long and this post is long enough as it is, I may take the time to take each one of these dreams and expand on the reasons why they are my dreams and why they are so important to me, so look out for those blog posts! I'm going to take a city/country a week and just tell you everything I love about it, that could make for some interesting reads.

Until next time!

Keep dreaming


Tuesday, 17 February 2015

The End Is Nigh

Yesterday I received my invitation to my graduation…

On the 14th July 2015 I will be walking through the doors at The Anglican Cathedral in Liverpool with the biggest grin on my face you will ever see. This is the day I have been anticipating for my entire life, the day I get up in front of many people, some faces familiar, some not, and receive my degree.

It's not news to you that I have hated every single second of my degree, but that doesn't stop me being unbelievably excited to graduate with my BSC in Broadcast and Media Production, it doesn't stop me feeling like I have achieved something, something that will make my loved ones proud.

Ever since the first moment I walked through the doors at the LJMU Byrom Street Campus, the one thing I wasn't looking forward to was graduation. This was mainly due to the fact that before this comes all of the hard work that gets you the degree, the constant battling with assignments and stress induced rage, not to mention the hell that is your final year project and dissertation...

I think this is the first moment I have been able to look past this, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the final hurdle and I am so ready. I'm so excited to see what my life has to offer, I'm so happy to finally be able to get myself into a situation where I am happy and not constantly stressing over the mountain of assignments surrounding me.

It's time for me to get stuck in, it's time for me to make my future happen, to make sure I have a life that I can be truly happy with, the days are coming that I won't forget and I am so ready.

Roll on July 14th 2015! I AM READY!

Watch out world, I'm coming for you!

Until next time


Saturday, 14 February 2015

Life is not a dress rehearsal - Bucket List

I've always been a dreamer, for as long as I can remember, it's just something that has always came naturally to me. I have decided to create a bucket list as a way to always remind myself where I want to go in life, who I want to be, and to ensure I never lose focus of that. I originally began writing my bucket list during the late stages of my high school years, and as time has passed I have been continuously adding things to said list, ensuring I don't forget to include something of importance. I dream big, that's something that will come clear the moment you begin to read this list.

"Become friends with people who aren't your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn't the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn't come from your social class. This is how you see the world, this is how you grow."

The bellow list is in no particular order, I wrote as I thought. 

Bucket List

1. Experience The Northern Lights from a glass igloo in Finnish Lapland.

2. Abseil off The Story Bridge in Brisbane, Queensland.

3. Visit The Grand Canyon.

4. Visit Niagara Falls.

5. Zip lining at Penthyn Quarry, Bethesda. 

6. Visit the base camp of Everest.

7. Visit The Louvre.

8. Visit Rome to see the Coliseum.

9. Visit the Eiffel Tower.

10. Visit Egypt to see The Pyramids of Giza.

11. Visit the 7 wonders of the ancient world, or the locations where they once stood.

12. Visit The Great Barrier Reef.

13. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus.

14. Walk along The Great Wall of China.

15. Visit all 7 continents. 

16. Explore an underground cenotes in Mexico.

17. Explore Venice

18. Visit and extinct Volcano.

19. Visit a live Volcano.

20. Visit New Zealand.

21. Swim with Sharks.

22. Put a lock onto the Lock Bridge in Paris. 

23. Climb The Sydney Harbour Bridge.

24. Visit all 52 States.

25. Visit Antarctica.

26. Explore the area around Area 51.

27. Visit Prague.

28. Visit The Sistine Chappell.

29. Visit Stonehenge.

30. Skydive.

31. Go on an African Safari.

32. Backpack Europe.

33. Go on an American road trip.

34. Visit the Taj Mahal.

35. Visit the Pink Lake located in Western Australia. 

36. Swim with Whale Sharks in Cancun.

37. Visit The Amazon Rainforest. 

38. Visit The Catacombs of Paris.

39. Visit The Anne Frank House.

40. Visit Gedenkstatte Berliner Mauer. 

41. Learn Japanese.

42.  Visit Shakespeare's Birthplace. 

43. Visit The Statue of Liberty.

44. Visit Australia Zoo. 

45. Write a book.  

46. Visit The Memorial and Museum Auschwitz - Birkenau.

47. Get Married.

48. Have Children.

49. Visit Sydney Harbour.

50. Visit Yellowstone National Park.

51. Dance in the rain.

52. Meet an idol.

53. Adopt an abandoned animal.

54. Experience the Superbowl in person. 

55. Attend San Diego Comic-Con.

56. Stand under the Hollywood sign.

57. Visit the Dead Sea.

58. Take a photo everyday for a year.

59. Give to charity.

60. Cage dive with Great White Sharks.

61. See Taylor Swift Live.

62. Buy a house.

63. Learn to drive.

64. Learn to swim.

65. Learn how to take a compliment.

66. Time Travel?

67. Plant a tree.

68. Fall deeply in love - helplessly and unconditionally. 

69. Spend a night in a haunted house, alone.

70. Perform infront of an audience.

71. Learn to play the banjo.

72. Attend a festival.

73. Understand that you can't please everyone.

74. Learn to shoot a gun.

75. Sleep under the stars.

76. Travel for a whole year.

78. Overcome my fears.

79. Visit the location where Lord of The Rings was set.

80. Visit Tour Patagonia.

81. Visit The Himalayas. 

82. Explore the temples and gardens of Kyoto.

83. Live in a different country.

84. Disconnect for a week.

85. Bury a time capsule.

86. Create a treasure map that directs them to nothing.

87. Graduate from University.

88. Study to become a Teacher.

89. Do a Masters degree.

90. Donate Blood.

91. Throw someone a surprise party.

92. Read 100 books in a year.

93. Say "Yes" for a whole day.

94. Write 365 letters to someone, one every day.

95. Take in as much culture as possible.

96. Do 50 random acts of kindness.

97. Shoot a bow and arrow.

98. Identify 10 constellations.

99. Follow my dreams. 

100. Accept yourself for who you are.

I hope you enjoyed my bucket list, and most importantly I hope I am able to experience the majority of the things on this list.

Why don't you share your bucket list? 

Until next time

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Wish I'd Never Grown Up.

Looking around me I can't help but notice how much has changed.

It's quite strange to realise how far people have came in life in such a short period of time. Although it's been just under 5 years since I finished school (thank god) I can honestly say that it doesn't feel like two minutes ago that we were sat on a field drinking a cheap bottle of cider, or walking around in school uniforms dreading the day ahead of us, thinking we were in the worst place in the entire world. Was it really that bad? I mean, I hated school, I really did, but I miss the freedom, the fact that we didn't have a single care in the world. I miss the lack of stress that school involved. 

Quite a lot of people whom I used to know once upon a time now have a partner, finance, or are even  married and that's a great thing for you and I congratulate you, I just can't help but wonder when this will happen for me…although I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! That could be anything from Film Maker to Forensic Anthropologist, I don't have the slightest clue! 

So much has changed in such a short space of time.

I do have my own house, I have grown up a little bit, give me some credit! I am slowly entering the adult world, I may be living with my best friend and our house may be party central 90% of the week but still! Give credit where credit is due!

Noticing all of the changes people have experienced has given me the ammunition I need to reflect upon my life and who I am. I may not be the girl/women who has been working since they were 16, I may not have a boyfriend/fiancé/husband and I may not be with child, but that doesn't mean I don't encounter some of life's great struggles, trust me, I do! I would honestly say that I have had quite a few struggles in life, each time this has happened, I have fought my way through to the other side, coming out a better person than the moment I started.

I'm now 21 and I should probably start thinking more seriously about my future, although in all honesty? I don't really care what happens, so long as I am happy and have fun in life, that's all I want. That and to travel, but I talk about that way too much. 

I think the most noticeable reason for my lack of knowledge on the adult world is due to the fact that I have spent so much time stuck in the education system that I just haven't got a clue. Since I finished school I went to college and then to university, why you might ask? Because that's what I was told to do. I was told that if I were to go down this route in life, then I would come out on top with the job of my dreams, I was told that if I didn't do this I'd basically become a failure, I did this to make my mother proud, that's all I have ever wanted to do, but should this be making her proud when I am so unhappy? I'm honestly jealous of the people who finished school and decided to take it upon themselves to go and get a job straight away, I wish this was what I had chosen to do, my life would seem to have more meaning, I wouldn't be stuck in the rut I am in now.What I really want is to own my own video production company and if not? I want to teach media, to he honest theres a lot I want to do, I often get confused and feel uncertain about it all.

I'm getting a little sidetracked as usual!

I haven't had the typical 9-5 job (I mean I never want that) I've just had the university life, it's like a none stop party and it's great! I still find bodily functions to be rather humorous and if you ever involve the words "do do" together in a sentence then more fool you because I'm going to be rolling on the floor laughing for a good 10 minutes.

I'm really struggling with the idea of coming to terms with the life I have chosen, I chose to go to university, that's something I did, although other peoples opinions on how my life would turn out without this did influence this decision quite a bit. On the plus side, day drinking and waking up past 12pm are a regular occurrence for me. 

I think it's unfair that during school we are told that the grades we get and what we choose to study at college will determine the rest of our lives. I felt too young then and at 21 I still feel too young, too young to decide where I'm heading in life, too young to decide on a specific career, I don't think it's an easy decision. I fear that I should of worked for a little bit once finishing school, took the time out to decide who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go, I'm just as clueless now as when I was 16.

I have too many dreams in life. Knowing that I probably won't get the chance to live out the majority of them, if any, leaves me unmotivated. I've spent so much time already thinking I was working towards my dream, but now when I stand back and take that moment to really have a good look, I notice that's not the case, I'm not where I want to be, nor am I who I want to be.

Things in my life are going to change. I'm going to start living for me, Im going to start going things that make me happy. When the day I've been longing for (Graduation) comes about, I'm going to commit to being my true self, commit to finding happiness. I don't want to stay stuck in this godforsaken awful place any longer than I have to, I plan on traveling, making a difference in the world. 

Sorry for the rant, I occasionally get a little side tracked…

Happy 7th February, have a lovely day!


Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Happy February!

When we first started 2015 I had planned on posting a lot more onto my blog, although you'll have to forgive me for the lack of posts during January, it was an extremely busy month.

I was aiming to post this on the 1st of February, unfortunately I managed to get a little sidetracked and quite clearly that didn't happen!

Last time I was here I spoke about getting a house with my best friend, it was quite an exciting time for us and guess what? It's finally happened! We have been living here for nearly a week and it's absolutely amazing. Everything about this is so surreal, we wake up some mornings and ask each other if this is real, because it's just too perfect to be real. Our little house is so much more perfect that I could have ever possibly dreamed it would be, it's our own little escape from the world, our own little den and I wouldn't want to share this experience with anyone else!

I think the craziest thing is that we have an entire house to ourselves, with no parents or siblings and it's completely crazy. We came up with this one rule, this rule being that as soon as you get to the top of the stairs you have to crawl or shuffle on your bum, there's no walking upstairs and you have to slide down the stairs ob your bum, it's great, right? 

January, for us, was essentially the month of parties. For the entirety of 2014 we stayed sober, it was a great thing to do, but 2015 is much different. We're only a month into the year, but we've already created some wonderful memories.

Things change, but some feelings stay the same.

In January I celebrated my 21st Birthday. It was the moment I really stopped for a moment and had a look a round, the moment I really truly noticed how much had changed since the last time I took a good look at the world. In all honesty, this is the best moment (minus all of the uni stress, but I don't want to go into that right now) I'm now 21, living with my most favourite person in the world and I really feel like things are looking up!

Things are looking up, looking up (hey!)
There's magic everywhere you go
Strangers stop to say hello (hello, hello, hello)
So turn it up, turn it up (hey!)
As lout as you can make it go
'Cause love is on the radio.

I believe that pictures speak louder than words, so here's my month in pictures!

Until next time! 


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